A Story Like Mine
by Nanell Olivier
I'm sure you have not heard a story like mine and I don't know if there is anything out there that can help me but maybe just telling you my story might give me a sense of hope.
I was a successful business woman with a great husband and wonderful child when in 1995 I found out I had gotten HIV through blood transfusions in 1982 during the birth of my child.
I had never been ill and this was just unbelievable. My family and I drew strength from each other and tried to go on. In 2000 my Tcells started to decline and I was going through a very stressful period at work and had a breakdown. I also had to be put on HIV meds which caused a condition which nearly killed me and left me physically disabled. I have had so many horrible things happen to me with this disease and the medicines that I have prayed to the Lord to take me. I guess that was not his plan..three years ago I had to have a J tube put into my stomach that takes the meds around the stomach and into the small intestine because the meds were causing stomach ulcers.
This medicine is working. My Tcells are coming back up and I am doing better but I have gained 100 lbs over three years. Some of it is due to the meds I take for the HIV and some meds for neuropathy and muscle damage. The sleep medicine I take also causes me to eat. I am trying to get off the sleep medicine but am having side effects. I have a psychiatrist and psychologist but I fight depression every day. I binge eat at night. That is how I have gained all this weight. I am a Christian and I pray a lot... without Christ I would never have made it. I have got to lose this weight. My husband, son and his family need me and I also don't want to cause myself further pain and health problems from obesity. I know I have been rambling but I want you to see what I'm up against. I need help. Do you think you can help me.
Thanks for listening.
ANSWER
Thank you so much for having the courage to share your story. I hope the advice I offer here will be of some help to you. My heart goes out to you... it sounds as if your situation has been created by a lot of things out of your control.
I will not pretend that I know what you're going through, because I can't. But I do know what it's like to feel controlled by food.
It sounds like you're managing the medications that you have to be on. So for the medical aspect of things; you're doing the best you can.
I feel inspired to give you the truth (as I see it) with no fluff. So here it is...
No matter what is going on around us, we can choose how we feel and act.The beauty of life is that we were sent here to earth to make our own choices.And within those choices is given us the power to create our own lives. I do believe that by being spiritually in tune: we can "co-create" our lives with God.
Now this doesn't mean that we can control outside forces. But it does mean that we can choose how we feel about them and what we make out of them.
You're here for a reason, as you said. It's time to start living your life. You are still the same person you were before all this happened. Don't deny yourself of living your life because of your situation. You may have to "alter" your plans a little; but it is up to you to move forward and create a joyful life. Not only for yourself, but for your family as well.
Here are a few suggestions:
1- Focus on Your Mental State
I have found that the key to overcoming binge eating has more to do with your mental state than it does your physical state. I encourage you to focus on your mental state.By this I am referring to the thoughts that play out in your mind. Specifically the negative thoughts that come to you repeatedly day in and day out.Focus on staying positive and banishing the thoughts that inhibit you from being happy.
2- Create a Proactive Environment
Make sure you get rid of the foods that you binge on. Having them out of the house (at least until this is under control) will help decrease the ability to binge at night. I know this is challenging especially with other people in the house. Talk to them and see what kind of solution you can come up with.
3- Good Support System
It sounds like you have a good setup with both a psychiatrist and psychologist. Make sure you've shared your struggles with binge eating and see what kind of plan of action they suggest. Along with your doctors; look for support in your family, and other avenues. I would also be glad to support you in any way that I can.
If you haven't already; I suggest you sign up to receive my free e-course. It can help guide you on your way.
I hope this helps. Keep your chin up and remember who you really are. You are more powerful than you may realize.
All my Best,
Stefanie
