Confused and Scared.

by Thomas
(Florence, Kentucky)

I took a chance to really get inside of what is causing this down fall in my life... and I found your site.

2010 has been the worse year of my personal life. I have moved to 3 different companies.

I tried my own company and lost over 40K.

I had to personal file Chapter 13 BK.

I feel isolated, lonely and lost.

My wife thinks a lot of this has come because of my stress over this past year, my child-hood growing up.

The funny thing is...I have never felt like this before. I have always thought of myself as a winner, and I have never felt this tired, worn out, dazed and confused about my life.

I have gained about 45 pounds of the weight I had lost over 1 year ago. (I had lost 85 pounds in about 8 months.)

I am trying to working out, but I feel exhausted after my workout, that I use to feel so alive and energized by.

To be quit frank...depression sucks and sucks the life out of you.

I guess my questions is...how can I break this crappy cycle?

I look forward in understanding this mind altering confusing, along with over-coming my personal issues before I lose my mind.

I want to gain the confidences back in myself like I had before my world came crashing down on me.

Also, I need to get my act together for my 3 kids. (My son-10 and twin girls-7)

I hope this makes sense!?! I appreciate any advice you are willing to share with me.

Thank you greatly,

Thomas

ANSWER

It sounds like you have had a lot changes in the past year. It is easy to fall back into old pattern or a depression when stressful situations arise.

The situation you described does sound stressful and challenging. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt and allow some time to get back on your feet.

You asked how you can break the cycle. Here is what I would suggest:

You have a choice to make:

You can stay where you are at.

Or you can chose to feel better.

Because you took the step to reach out for help... I would venture to say that you're not willing to stay where you are at. You're just not sure how to release it and move into feeling good again.

I know that simply making a choice may sound very simplistic; but that doesn't make it easy.

I'm sure you've seen the cartoons where the character has an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. Well our minds are a lot like that. We each have two little voices that we choose to either listen to or ignore.

My question to you is: Which voice are you listening to? It can be as simple as having a thought to take a walk, look up a healthy recipe, call a friend, mend a relationship, or a thought of asking for a hug. It's easy to ignore; but when we act on those thoughts it can have a huge impact on your day and eventually your life.

I hope this helps. All the answers you need are already within yourself. It just takes time to tune in, listen, and take action.

Be patient and loving with yourself.

All my Best,

Stefanie

P.S.
You may want to start out by listening to these audios.