I am perfect BUT a binge eater :(

by Maha
(Lebanon)

Dear Stefanie,

I love your website and I have gone through the audios posted, and I just love how I can hear someone who has exactly passed through what I am passing through right now.

I was an excellent student at school and university, and I am sooo sociable and love life, but when I started gaining weight at the age of 16, I had body image disorder, was never obese, I have around 15 extra kilos that I need to remove, just as you said, coz I always get back on track and exercise.

But, I have started binge eating around 5 years ago, and now I am 25 years old, and I always feel bad about it. During my binging period, and before starting to get back on track and diet ( as the vicious cycle goes) I would prevent seeing any of my friends, or guys that I like, and this I think is the main reason why I have been single for more than three years now, and the one I used to go out with was not in the same country, and I would go on a strict diets just a month before he would be planning to come.

I have been seeing a wellness coach since over a year now, and have gone through sooo many ups and downs, and sabotaging every time I lose 5 kilos, I would just stop it and start self-sabotage again :S

Last month, I hit a new top score for my weight, after having lost around 5 kilos, and felt great about myself, I then gained back 8 (so three more that what I have lost) and I felt soooo crappy.

I have been back on track since more than 2 months now, and I have almost lost 6 kilos now again, and I still need around 12 kilos, but I am always passing through these hiccups that would make me get back to a place where would be close to point zero. It happened more than 5 times during the past year now, and I am getting soooo depressed about it, I have a strong determination when I start my diet, but would suddenly change every plan I had done, and lose every effort, by getting back to binge eating again :(

I hope you can give me a push, to continue now , because I think all my social, and love life, is based on this problem that I would give half my life to get rid of!

Thanks a lot for sharing your past experience with us, coz this really makes it easier for us.

Regards,
Maha

ANSWER

If you are in a consistent cycle of self sabotaging you can know for certain that you are not 100% congruent; or in other words there are 2 parts of you going in opposite directions.

Part of you wants to release the extra weight and binge eating (conscious mind); but there is a deeper part of yourself (unconscious mind) that may not feel like it is okay or safe to do so.

When you are in process of releasing fat... it is also a process of releasing beliefs that do not serve you and creating ones that support you.

The thing to remember is that your mind and body have a positive intention for binge eating. It relieves, comforts, and soothes you. Eliminating binge eating without replacing it with some other activity that provides comfort and relaxation will backfire. You need those soothing emotions and if emotional eating is the main activity that provides them; you have to create new ways to feel 'good'.

Think of other ways that you can relieve, comfort and soothe yourself that promote your emotional and physical well being. And use them! Every time you want to binge; use your alternative activities. Not just once in a while; but consistently.

Remember that it takes about 21 days to create a new habit. The longer you practice this, the easier it becomes. And you will actually being to crave your new habit. It may be a walk, writing, a phone call to friend, stretching or yoga, meditation, or deep breathing exercises.

Overcoming binge eating is process. A process of self discovery and self love. Be patient and loving with yourself.

Sending you ((HUGGS)) and support!

All my Best,

Stefanie